Overthinking: dissecting that which exists in the mind.
Pulling thoughts this way and that way and this way and that way so that every which way and aspect and possibility is prodded and probed, weighed, quantified, qualified and picked apart like vultures picking at carrion.
Thoughts are torn to pieces this way! They should be left to flow and shift; to evolve organically. Thoughts must simply shimmer and be.
When I overthink and refuse to let things be, I specify and specify and reduce a thing down until there is nothing real or concrete left; I am left to deal with echoes, reflections and traces of faint half-memories.
Echoes can be misheard; echoes sound like this and that and something else. I am distracted by echoes, I strive to remember the original sound. I am eventually sucked in by my need to hear what was once actually there.
Reflections are not actual either.
When I over-think I break a thought down too far; I reduce it to a form which isn’t tangible, and then I am drawn in by that mystery.
The mystery of the unknown.
I become distracted by my own impression of my own face in a mirror; an impression which somehow isn’t quite my own; fixating because it’s so strangely elusive.
But I continue to think: this thinking process seems to offer answers, but all it does it pulls me further in, pulls me deeper down.
My mind can be like a labyrinth. When I overthink things into such states of dissolution, I get lost in that uncertainty, I get caught up in that shadow.
I think too far, I dissect too far– until I am only chasing the impression of thoughts, and the dream of a final resolution.
Mad new world 
Alex,
have you any idea just how difficult it was for me to determine what you have so blithely spoken of in this post?
I know you went mad, but the power of your thinking is well beyond the ordinary. Between that seed of clear thinking and a passion for life, you pulled yourself out of that mire.
That is what challenges are all about, aren’t they? Meet them – and the challenge you faced in your madness was one you could not escape – meet those challenges and you will find new fields of thinking that are truly Elysian.
Those who are mad have seen something, they just can’t contain it within their own abilities to think. Your abilities to think are astonishing. And here I must add that yours are demonstrably more powerful than mine.
You have wrought the balance and self assurance from out of your own self, you had to when contending your own inner instability. Do not become unbalanced when I say that I bow to your greater conceptual powers.
Do not waste them.
For I will enjoy them, and I will learn from them too. You’ll be finding your posts reblogged in my series ‘Beyond Newton’ which explores the realms where science cannot – dare not – tread. My ideas are simple and direct; yours will be elegant like a waltz in full swing.
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I don’t really know what to say to this Gemma! Your compliments always leave me walking on air for about a month.. lol i hope my writing can be anything like HALF as elegant as a waltz.. and in full swing would be a dream!! Still means a lot, i just hope i can deliver in this book. How is yours going? Xx
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Just get yourself balanced and you’ll find that your abilities to perceive will improve.
Are you aware that Rudolf Steiner – one of the finest minds in creation – wrote his Philosophy of Freedom at around your age? Basically it answered the questions you were posing (and answering) in this post.
I will add that at that age I was struggling to understand his thoughts.
My own book will be winging its way to you in a few moments.
xxx
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