My laughter bites and my smile snares; I can enclose an entire room with the sweep of my gaze and men have been known to run away howling. I am a witch and my bones are connected to the cold rock and trailing ivy. I walk hunched like a crooked woman, crouched like a…… Continue reading Witch
Illness swirls around my mind, how can I leave this fog behind? Lights flicker dimly on the edge of sight, beckoning through this constant night. Faces I recognise and voices I know sometimes stretch to me so far below- but my mind is cloaked in dread and doubt how will I ever climb back out? By following…… Continue reading Recovery
On Wednesday I had the best news I’ve had so far this year. A friend of Nina’s messaged me to say that when he visited her that morning she had been much better, and that she had been asking about me and wanted my phone number so she could call me. I got this message as I was walking through…… Continue reading The greatest news ever- I got my best friend back!!
Another Monday morning, and another day at work. Sounds a tad dreary, but actually so far the whole experience has been pretty good! I am enjoying the routine, and the early morning starts haven’t been too taxing either. I was worried that after many years of unemployment, these first few weeks might kill me, but…… Continue reading Monday check in; looking forward to the week ahead!
(Continued from section 2..) It is obviously formulaic to say that Mental illness defies reason, and initially it defies it on every conceivable level and non-conceivable level. You lose the rational part of your mind, and instead delusion and fantasy, paranoia and belief rush in. I am aware that the last 12 years have…… Continue reading The mine-field which is mental illness and relationships (3)
I am fascinated by the idea of ‘different worlds;’ the different environments which people live in, but also the different ways in which people view the world. I suppose the easiest way to think about this is to put an optimist next to a pessimist, and ask each of them to describe the scene in…… Continue reading WordPress and the world (2)
So 66 people checked out my blog yesterday; 27 people viewed my profile and I got a few likes and a couple of new followers. Looking back through my stats I had viewers from countries as far apart and diverse as Albania, Ireland, Ukraine, USA and India. This is absolutely breath-taking and when I take a…… Continue reading WordPress and the world (1)
Hope- like a white feather circling in a tempestuous hurricane, caught and thrown, eddied and thrust through the violence of the raging storm, fragile as a baby sparrow in those vicious gales, delicate, but retaining it’s own fundamental quality- retaining its own colour and soft eternal presence. Despite the strength of the forces which carry and…… Continue reading Hope
One of the main things I am learning as I progress with my recovery, is to have faith in my own ability to ride the natural highs and lows inherent in a single day. Today has been a case in point. I’d had a few glasses of wine last night, and so was fairly fuzzy this morning. Ru…… Continue reading Riding the highs and lows inherent in a single day.
The world outside my eyes knocks against my mind, tap tap tap, asking for an invitation in. I try to stop seeing movies all around me but the street outside is cloaked with a pale green filter and all the people wear clothes like costumes, faces like masks covering up what’s underneath, what’s inside- deeper…… Continue reading Schizophrenic