White pill

White pill-

you are my compromise.

Not accepting you

means delusion

realised.

You are my answer

to the aches and

screams,

my solution to the

ill at ease,

I swallow you whole,

yet

you consume me,

your chemical daze

inebriates me,

dull daze,

dull gaze.

While I am with you

I can’t claim

to be free

and this I cannot

abide.

I cannot stomach

the dismantled pride

or the break

in the rhythm

of my dogged stride,

the sensation of never

being alone inside

only heightens

when I reject you.

So-

I force myself to smile,

touch you to

my tongue

and take you down

with icy water

whole in one,

accept your lies,

my brain’s already fried

already wired

what’s one more nail,

what’s one more external

stimuli?

White pill

compromise

disjointed sanity

or subjective

suicide.

I loath you

white pill-

but I agree

to swallow you-

without you the possibilities

only multiply.

White pill,

or otherwise

my brains relentless

urge to

fantasise.

White pill,

White pill-

there’s no way out,

just constant

debilitating

gut-wrenching

compromise.