I got myself into a bind; now I’m forced to play a waiting game. Hating games hating waiting; not a very fun game because I made up the rules and I’m much too serious for it to ever be fun. I do not mind though. My reward is a hot chocolate or a decaf coffee…… Continue reading No game
Never think something won’t happen; it seems to me, at this point in time, that my simplistic notions of previous experiences may have inadvertently led me back into hospital. They gave me a lot of strength, but it was an uneasy strength, a ‘not quite convinced’ strength. I knew I’d made an “amazing recovery,” I…… Continue reading A time-appropriate cautionary tale of schizophrenia.
Four week losing war; four drops, two many sighs, signs, psychodelically infused and then identified. I scribbled the name into My arm, split the skin And rubbed saliva in as the Black ink ran. It was a number, a time limit For ingesting detol- Faces flashed past me as I tried To remember why it…… Continue reading Four week losing war (poem)
My mental health went to pieces in the last 3 months. It’s so strange looking back now because at the time I hadn’t lost touch with reality, I was able to talk to other people about other things- I was able to discuss medication and blood tests with my careteam. I wasn’t sectioned and must’ve…… Continue reading Trying to make sense
Sometimes, it seems, you must almost die beforeyou can sense life.I almost lost my liver,my food disappeared down the toiletand my heart with it. I wretchedand heaved and nothing dislodgedso I carried on until I couldn’tGet out of bed.Next stop hospital.Wide long white days, stretchesof time with nothing but silenceflickering light and sharp stabsin the…… Continue reading Closer to life