About this time of year I always experience a deep sense of optimism and positivity about myself and my own potential.
My awareness of the looming date – 1st January – always works to reassure me that all the things I want to achieve are, once again, achievable. This sensation and self belief always begins to wane and ebb at around the end of Februaury, depending on how active I’ve been.
This year my new years revolutions are no different than they have been the last few years or so, and I’m sure they are basically similar to a large proportion of other peoples. They are not massively interesting or unusual, but they are the ones which catch me up again every year in a whirlwind of infinite possiblity. The feelings I tend to experience at this late stage in December are similar to those I used to feel in September when I was young; the act of returning back to school each year always impressed upon me the potential of the future.
My new years resolutions are:
1. Write 2 meaningful wordpress articles each week.
2. Complete 2 novels this year.
3. Read all the fiction books on my shelf which I haven’t read yet.
4. Return to MQ charity and write a blog article a month
5. Go vegetarian.
6. Put together list of veggie recipes from all the books and resources I have.
7. Get gym membership.
8. Lose weight and build up muscle strength.
These are all achievable, and I hope that I have the will-power and determination this year to achieve them. I haven’t mentionned anything about finding a new job, which as I’m writing this I feel that I should have done.
9. Start volunteering at charity shop,
10. Start volunteering for the labout party.
11. Get more involved in Green Peace.
12. Go to ‘Back to Netball.’
13. Find a dancing group and learn a dance type.
14. Audition for an amateur dramatics group.
15. Find new work
I think this is everything. I am leaving the ‘find new work,’ on the back burner now and will likely start thinking about seriously in March, because I feel I need to give myself some time to process this latest and severe mental health blip. I do want to write about it, but more seriously I need to reach a point where I feel level and content within myself, before I start taking on more stress.
I aim to use this site to publish real meaningful blog posts; last year I often used this site almost as an online journal and ended up writing very long and blundering posts about personal issues which didn’t really have any specific relevance to either mental health or writing. I have been writing a journal, or at least I was writing a journal when I was still in hospital, and hope to continue this now as it is another good way of improving ones writing skills and style.
So I will aim to write another WordPress article today or tomorrow, likely about my experiences with schizophrenia this time around because it was quite different. My optimism is tied in into the last few months of my life which considering I was hospitalised and almost needed to have a liver transplant is slightly unlikely- I will explore this more in my next article.
I hope some of you stick around and read it.