This may end up becoming something of a rant, so I apologise in advance if this article turns into something of a targeted slagging off session against my doctor, societal norms generally and/or the way I seem to police myself and my own thinking. I started writing it a few days ago, but had to…… Continue reading The importance of agency, when dealing with mental health symptoms
The focus of this article is an issue I’ve been struggling with for some time, which just resurfaced in my thinking in the form of symptoms. The subject and problem just sort of fell into my mind, piggy-backing on the “voices” which, as is often the case, felt half profound and half completely random. I’ve…… Continue reading Personal faith, and how to reconcile it with a mental health diagnosis
I ate an apple once- he said you should be choking, it was already old. You should be ill, it was full up with rot, maggots crawling from it’s ruined flesh. You should be tired and yet you walk beside me head held high how is this possible? He said until he realised he was…… Continue reading Religion
About this time of year I always experience a deep sense of optimism and positivity about myself and my own potential. My awareness of the looming date – 1st January – always works to reassure me that all the things I want to achieve are, once again, achievable. This sensation and self belief always begins…… Continue reading New Years Resolutions
Oh mad world- you want to chew me up and spit me out so badly and I am tempted, I cannot deny the heady scent of your hot saliva, dripping, steaming calls out to something in my blood, something salty red and present which only wants to be devoured. It’s just that- there’s another urge…… Continue reading Chew me up, spit me out
Life is strange. Does anyone else agree with me on this? That life can be mind-bendingly, jaw-achingly strange at times. I consider myself, to most intents and purposes, sane- and yet there are days when things happen which leave me baffled and somewhat in awe of this crazy occurrence called Life. I’m not sure if…… Continue reading Personal filters for reality (1)
Pursuing my dreams often causes me a headache, and yet the idea of not pursuing the things I can imagine seems infinitely more painful. The proverbial rock and hard-place. I am stuck between the looming rock-face I wish to scale, and the hard place behind me which is a hard, flat desert of inactivity. I spend…… Continue reading The tiring nature of pursuing ones dreams
I hold a needle between thumb and forefinger, stare through the tiny eye and find infinity. A multi-verse of vast improbability- a soap bubble attached to a second soap bubble floating upwards into a clear blue sky- the light illuminate- electro-magnetic eye enabler hiding trillions of glittering stars, countless, fathomless balls of burning fusion power,…… Continue reading Minds eye (poem)
Heroine- An image glimpsed in the mirror just before it shattered into a million pieces and the fragments cut my hands and arms, caused blood to seep. Heroine- The dream chased beneath a beaming sun with outstretched arms and breath which blew through the branches, whilst the air itself pulsed and smiled with promise. …… Continue reading Heroine
One of my dearest friends, who has been unwell for almost a year, is leaving hospital on the 24th of this month. We met, almost ten years ago at the Bethlam Royal Hospital in South London, and since then have been through all kinds of crazy together. We often say we’re one another’s life-line’s, because…… Continue reading Dedicated to a friend- light at the end of a long tunnel
Mad new world 