I have just arrived at a new job, quite literally- I just walked through the door to the building five minutes ago. I’m sitting in the waiting room now, because I got here a bit early and my new manager is still on the phone. I’m fairly nervous, although reasonably, I know that there’s no…… Continue reading Starting a new role at work, managing nerves and other distractions.
One of my dearest friends, who has been unwell for almost a year, is leaving hospital on the 24th of this month. We met, almost ten years ago at the Bethlam Royal Hospital in South London, and since then have been through all kinds of crazy together. We often say we’re one another’s life-line’s, because…… Continue reading Dedicated to a friend- light at the end of a long tunnel
I’ve lived with voices for so many years now, it’s really hard for me to think back to the time in my life when I didn’t hear them. I can’t really remember how it feels to think without my thought process being interrupted and distracted by “voices.” It’s like I am aware of the constant…… Continue reading Focusing on “the voices,” and attempting to make sense of the nonsensible
So sometimes living with this diagnosis can be really really difficult. Granted, yes, sometimes it’s inspiring and utterly soul confirming in ways which defy rational explanation; therefore working to keep the eyes of mystery open in the world around me and imbue my waking moments with a faint sense of the surreal. But, at other times,…… Continue reading I’m not weird ok?! I’m just dealing with a mental illness..
(Continued from section 2..) It is obviously formulaic to say that Mental illness defies reason, and initially it defies it on every conceivable level and non-conceivable level. You lose the rational part of your mind, and instead delusion and fantasy, paranoia and belief rush in. I am aware that the last 12 years have…… Continue reading The mine-field which is mental illness and relationships (3)
Hope- like a white feather circling in a tempestuous hurricane, caught and thrown, eddied and thrust through the violence of the raging storm, fragile as a baby sparrow in those vicious gales, delicate, but retaining it’s own fundamental quality- retaining its own colour and soft eternal presence. Despite the strength of the forces which carry and…… Continue reading Hope
One of the main things I am learning as I progress with my recovery, is to have faith in my own ability to ride the natural highs and lows inherent in a single day. Today has been a case in point. I’d had a few glasses of wine last night, and so was fairly fuzzy this morning. Ru…… Continue reading Riding the highs and lows inherent in a single day.
So, I am currently at something of a milestone in my life and in my recovery process. Change is a-foot. I have been living via the state for the last twelve years; I have been receiving disability benefits every two weeks for the last third of my life, due to long term and pervasive mental…… Continue reading Entering the world of full time employment- oh the times, they are a’changing..!
When I was young they told me and the others not to fall in with the “bad crowd.” The “bad crowd” were the ones who did drugs and made up stories on street corners at night. The ones who did not finish their homework, and then challenged the teachers who punished them. The ones who…… Continue reading The “bad crowd”
So, as the title says- it’s been a good Tuesday. I’m slightly regretting pushing it so hard at the gym though, as I’m doing an outreach shift tonight so probably won’t get to bed before 1am. My legs are already beginning to feel a little bit stiff, and I have a feeling I’m gonna need a…… Continue reading Back on the book, burning 850 calories and doing an outreach shift- a highly productive Tuesday