Reaching forwards, trailing backwards. I used to struggle telling the time: one hand moved so fast whilst the other dragged- shadows always felt more meaningful than the light and the masochist in me never wanted my sins to be seen. I crave an empty room now: space and time to myself, a rope ladder reaching…… Continue reading Therapy
I’m going through quite a strange phase at the moment. I’ve written a couple of posts, in the last couple of months about how I”m no longer 100% comfortable stating that the difficulties I encounter day to day can be attributed to the schizophrenia, and I wonder if through this observation I’ve started a ball…… Continue reading A Strange Phase..
This article is something of a continuation of the last piece I published. In that one I was writing about how a perceived loss of agency affected my ability to deal with the symptoms of my schizophrenia. However as I was writing it occurred to me that this is an extremely commonplace problem- everyone needs…… Continue reading Why my mental health condition may no longer be a “mental health” condition.
This may end up becoming something of a rant, so I apologise in advance if this article turns into something of a targeted slagging off session against my doctor, societal norms generally and/or the way I seem to police myself and my own thinking. I started writing it a few days ago, but had to…… Continue reading The importance of agency, when dealing with mental health symptoms
The focus of this article is an issue I’ve been struggling with for some time, which just resurfaced in my thinking in the form of symptoms. The subject and problem just sort of fell into my mind, piggy-backing on the “voices” which, as is often the case, felt half profound and half completely random. I’ve…… Continue reading Personal faith, and how to reconcile it with a mental health diagnosis
I’ve just been talking to my friend N, who (for those of you who haven’t read other posts of mine) is a close friend who also suffers mental health issues. We met at the Royal Bethlem hospital and so she is the only other person in the world I can speak to openly and honestly…… Continue reading Labeling one’s own condition
I have often been left comments on this site, which have gone something along the lines of: “you’re so great and open in how you write about your schizophrenia: you describe it so vividly and write so honestly about how it effects you.” This is largely true: I enjoy using this blog as a way…… Continue reading Meandering and adjusting
I’ve decided to write a post with the sole intention of reclaiming this blog space. It won’t be a long article, but I felt that the need to type a few words explicitly channelling this desire because it’s opposite- self-doubt- has been plaguing me and preventing me from writing here as often as I’d like…… Continue reading Reclaiming this blog- space as my own to be as self-obsessive as I choose..
My last day at work was last Friday. My fixed term contract came to an end, and I’m currently waiting on a start date for new employment. This is all extremely exciting and massively nerve-wracking but I want to leave that for another post; the roller coaster which has been my “return to the world…… Continue reading A book proposal- AND a 10,000 person online platform
In the last two weeks I have cut down my e-cigarette usage by 75%. GO me. I’ve been wanting to do this for years, but haven’t been able to because my e-cigarette is a trusted and highly effective emotional crutch for me. I have been leaning on it for about five years now, and although…… Continue reading Acknowledging a reduction in nicotine..