It’s terrifying how fast things change. One moment you’re struggling- cast adrift in a churning, raging ocean, and then the next you’re floating on gentle waves beneath a bright corn flower blue sky. Living with a serious mental illness diagnosis can feel a little bit like living with a mind prone to severe, unpredictable weather…… Continue reading Recovery; living with schizophrenia (1)
I’ve lived with voices for so many years now, it’s really hard for me to think back to the time in my life when I didn’t hear them. I can’t really remember how it feels to think without my thought process being interrupted and distracted by “voices.” It’s like I am aware of the constant…… Continue reading Focusing on “the voices,” and attempting to make sense of the nonsensible
So sometimes living with this diagnosis can be really really difficult. Granted, yes, sometimes it’s inspiring and utterly soul confirming in ways which defy rational explanation; therefore working to keep the eyes of mystery open in the world around me and imbue my waking moments with a faint sense of the surreal. But, at other times,…… Continue reading I’m not weird ok?! I’m just dealing with a mental illness..
I’ve been fairly quiet on WordPress for a few months now. A lot has happened; a new job, a fairly grim patch with regards to my mental health, a subsequent decision to increase my meds, and then a period of introspection and reflection. I’m doing ok, and a lot better than a few months ago before…… Continue reading Update- work, recovery and life
We walk into a situation. Any situation. A room at a party; an adjacent seat at a dinner table; a group training exercise. I turn to you and say, “Hello, I have mental illness.” How would you respond? If I were as open with this fact as you might be if you had had a particularly bad…… Continue reading “Hello, I have a mental illness..” (1)
Originally posted on Fem Feelings:
Life is not an American AA meeting. When you introduce yourself for the first time no one claps or gives you a supportive ‘well done you for making the first step’ nod, actually, there are precious few instances in real life where you will receive a positive reaction for announcing…
The mirror lies. This fact is as cold and hard as the pane of glass separating me from my own reflection. I watch myself breathe; watch myself grow older, each second making the lines beneath my eyes stretch further down, and the shadows deepen, full up with dust and cobwebs. I am a shadow, a pale…… Continue reading The mirror
Illness swirls around my mind, how can I leave this fog behind? Lights flicker dimly on the edge of sight, beckoning through this constant night. Faces I recognise and voices I know sometimes stretch to me so far below- but my mind is cloaked in dread and doubt how will I ever climb back out? By following…… Continue reading Recovery
On Wednesday I had the best news I’ve had so far this year. A friend of Nina’s messaged me to say that when he visited her that morning she had been much better, and that she had been asking about me and wanted my phone number so she could call me. I got this message as I was walking through…… Continue reading The greatest news ever- I got my best friend back!!
(Continued from section 2..) It is obviously formulaic to say that Mental illness defies reason, and initially it defies it on every conceivable level and non-conceivable level. You lose the rational part of your mind, and instead delusion and fantasy, paranoia and belief rush in. I am aware that the last 12 years have…… Continue reading The mine-field which is mental illness and relationships (3)