I’ve decided to write a post with the sole intention of reclaiming this blog space. It won’t be a long article, but I felt that the need to type a few words explicitly channelling this desire because it’s opposite- self-doubt- has been plaguing me and preventing me from writing here as often as I’d like…… Continue reading Reclaiming this blog- space as my own to be as self-obsessive as I choose..
The morning air meets me as I open my stuffy eyes and stare into a new day; hours of time unravelled like an onion ahead of me. I blink painfully and crawl out of bed, cowering beneath the sheets, clinging onto the carpet with my toes feeling them stretch and crack like walnuts- the drugs…… Continue reading Morning on Chlozapine
So the last few days have been strange. It’s gone over two months now I haven’t had a drink; I’ve cut out real cigarettes and am only smoking the e-cig, and have also cut out 90% of the refined sugar of my diet previously. This is a great achievement, and something I’d been trying to…… Continue reading Processing with the aid of leafy green vegetables.
I fell into seawater. Descended too far, the pressure was almost too much for my ears. But something pulled me up- some warm surge of power a current racing towards the light through so much dark debris and out into clearer aqua blues and greens. I emerged with sea weed in my hair, bloody from…… Continue reading Ascent (poem)
Four week losing war; four drops, two many sighs, signs, psychodelically infused and then identified. I scribbled the name into My arm, split the skin And rubbed saliva in as the Black ink ran. It was a number, a time limit For ingesting detol- Faces flashed past me as I tried To remember why it…… Continue reading Four week losing war (poem)
This love’s a craving a desire deeper than the fishes- there is so much dark in me and though I myself can always see the light, the beacon, it may not flash so consistently for another locked into my orbit. I burn as brightly as the sun yet when I meet another hotter entity I…… Continue reading Phoenix Rising (poem)
I am adrift and un-anchoured. When you sit next to me the blue carpet beneath us rolls and the sofa pitches as if we are aboard a vessel steaming across a vast uncharted ocean. Waves rock and roll us and the motion is relentless- I can taste salt on my lips and feel the wet…… Continue reading Unrequited lust (poem)
The present moment, a mess of interpretation a puzzle strewn across my minds eye. Leaves scattered across an old picnic blanket left behind after the long summer day. The night winds blow cold now through the eaves and echoes of laughter and screams of delight idle away like wet foot prints across a…… Continue reading Movement (poem)
I’m looking after a cat for the week. It’s the cutest pet and sometimes my mind falls away with it. Are metaphors successful if nobody else understands them? In the past my mind employed harmless ideas to cover up ghosts. The groping fingers of my grey matter would drape its ghouls in silks and baubles…… Continue reading Catharsis (2)
I started to write. The air around me was still and the past progressed from my finger-tips like taffy. Outside the sky was glaring blue. I watched high up as the clouds scudded past like stupid children, bumbling along on an unknown current oblivious to the implications of their movement and participation. Their cow-white presence…… Continue reading Catharsis (1)