I’ve decided to write a post with the sole intention of reclaiming this blog space. It won’t be a long article, but I felt that the need to type a few words explicitly channelling this desire because it’s opposite- self-doubt- has been plaguing me and preventing me from writing here as often as I’d like…… Continue reading Reclaiming this blog- space as my own to be as self-obsessive as I choose..
So the last few days have been strange. It’s gone over two months now I haven’t had a drink; I’ve cut out real cigarettes and am only smoking the e-cig, and have also cut out 90% of the refined sugar of my diet previously. This is a great achievement, and something I’d been trying to…… Continue reading Processing with the aid of leafy green vegetables.
Bittersweet at Christmas; the fairy-lights flickered in and out of my thinking in a curious rhythm I couldn’t quite switch off from. I was mesmorised, every now and then somebody would call out something and I would have to concentrate to remember whether this was an internal sound or whether it emitted from outside of…… Continue reading Bittersweet at christmas
About this time of year I always experience a deep sense of optimism and positivity about myself and my own potential. My awareness of the looming date – 1st January – always works to reassure me that all the things I want to achieve are, once again, achievable. This sensation and self belief always begins…… Continue reading New Years Resolutions
I fell into seawater. Descended too far, the pressure was almost too much for my ears. But something pulled me up- some warm surge of power a current racing towards the light through so much dark debris and out into clearer aqua blues and greens. I emerged with sea weed in my hair, bloody from…… Continue reading Ascent (poem)
Never think something won’t happen; it seems to me, at this point in time, that my simplistic notions of previous experiences may have inadvertently led me back into hospital. They gave me a lot of strength, but it was an uneasy strength, a ‘not quite convinced’ strength. I knew I’d made an “amazing recovery,” I…… Continue reading A time-appropriate cautionary tale of schizophrenia.
Oh mad world- you want to chew me up and spit me out so badly and I am tempted, I cannot deny the heady scent of your hot saliva, dripping, steaming calls out to something in my blood, something salty red and present which only wants to be devoured. It’s just that- there’s another urge…… Continue reading Chew me up, spit me out
I’m presently locked into a violent and somewhat personal battle with the words which exist in my head. I’ve found most of the relevant ones already, now I’m struggling to rearrange them into an order which pleases me. This battle’s been going on for quite some time, and my associated war wounds are real and…… Continue reading #WritingCommunity
My last day at work was last Friday. My fixed term contract came to an end, and I’m currently waiting on a start date for new employment. This is all extremely exciting and massively nerve-wracking but I want to leave that for another post; the roller coaster which has been my “return to the world…… Continue reading A book proposal- AND a 10,000 person online platform
Tired synapses struggle with connection. I blink, and look back down to the page. Words stutter, to resolve themselves on my lips and in my mind, they patter out from the darkness on flat feet and flail about in the light of awareness, my brain’s waves are irregular- inspiration stutters and blasts in and out,…… Continue reading Tired synapses