I’m going through quite a strange phase at the moment. I’ve written a couple of posts, in the last couple of months about how I”m no longer 100% comfortable stating that the difficulties I encounter day to day can be attributed to the schizophrenia, and I wonder if through this observation I’ve started a ball…… Continue reading A Strange Phase..
This article is something of a continuation of the last piece I published. In that one I was writing about how a perceived loss of agency affected my ability to deal with the symptoms of my schizophrenia. However as I was writing it occurred to me that this is an extremely commonplace problem- everyone needs…… Continue reading Why my mental health condition may no longer be a “mental health” condition.
I’ve just been talking to my friend N, who (for those of you who haven’t read other posts of mine) is a close friend who also suffers mental health issues. We met at the Royal Bethlem hospital and so she is the only other person in the world I can speak to openly and honestly…… Continue reading Labeling one’s own condition
I have often been left comments on this site, which have gone something along the lines of: “you’re so great and open in how you write about your schizophrenia: you describe it so vividly and write so honestly about how it effects you.” This is largely true: I enjoy using this blog as a way…… Continue reading Meandering and adjusting
I’ve decided to write a post with the sole intention of reclaiming this blog space. It won’t be a long article, but I felt that the need to type a few words explicitly channelling this desire because it’s opposite- self-doubt- has been plaguing me and preventing me from writing here as often as I’d like…… Continue reading Reclaiming this blog- space as my own to be as self-obsessive as I choose..
The morning air meets me as I open my stuffy eyes and stare into a new day; hours of time unravelled like an onion ahead of me. I blink painfully and crawl out of bed, cowering beneath the sheets, clinging onto the carpet with my toes feeling them stretch and crack like walnuts- the drugs…… Continue reading Morning on Chlozapine
So the last few days have been strange. It’s gone over two months now I haven’t had a drink; I’ve cut out real cigarettes and am only smoking the e-cig, and have also cut out 90% of the refined sugar of my diet previously. This is a great achievement, and something I’d been trying to…… Continue reading Processing with the aid of leafy green vegetables.
Bittersweet at Christmas; the fairy-lights flickered in and out of my thinking in a curious rhythm I couldn’t quite switch off from. I was mesmorised, every now and then somebody would call out something and I would have to concentrate to remember whether this was an internal sound or whether it emitted from outside of…… Continue reading Bittersweet at christmas
About this time of year I always experience a deep sense of optimism and positivity about myself and my own potential. My awareness of the looming date – 1st January – always works to reassure me that all the things I want to achieve are, once again, achievable. This sensation and self belief always begins…… Continue reading New Years Resolutions
I fell into seawater. Descended too far, the pressure was almost too much for my ears. But something pulled me up- some warm surge of power a current racing towards the light through so much dark debris and out into clearer aqua blues and greens. I emerged with sea weed in my hair, bloody from…… Continue reading Ascent (poem)