“Without hope, all men are animals,” he tells me stoically from the chair. “And all women too!” I reply with an ironic grimace, teeth bared to cover up All our fear. We smell it on ourselves now, Universal a low lingering sour scent of too many mistakes, too many actions unable to be undone, By…… Continue reading POWER Responsibility.
“Would you do anything for me?” the question holds so many implications. I try to hold onto something more than what I am, but it all turns to snarling grimaces, to ashes in my mouth. Do we need to fight for me to feel real; do I need to let you hurt me feel your…… Continue reading Feelings (poem)
It is the 30th of December and a new year looms. I am still sat, writing crappy poetry and vacillating between numerous unfinished projects. I have the main project, the one I have been working on for three years and have recently sent to my mum for beta reading and comment, as a kind of…… Continue reading Writing, thinking about writing, and de-cluttering my flat.
My body is as wide as a river. My big soul heaves and churns with the wildest waters, whipped up with such a tempest madness. When the pain flows through me, salt water leaves my eyes and my guts constrict, like flapping fish caught in a fisherman’s net; gasping mouths frantically sucking for clear…… Continue reading She-moon
Today is the last day of my first ever contract of employment. At my age, you might be wondering- wow, you were lucky enough to find a stable, secure position which you actually enjoyed enough to stay in for what, ten years?! Well the answer to that is no- I’m 33, this has been my…… Continue reading Sunny contemplations, from the office
This series of posts explores the learning curve I have progressed through over the course of the last nine months. I’ve been working as a support worker for a homelessness charity in South West London, and I went into this position with some fairly strong ideas over how best to do the job, what it…… Continue reading Nine months as a Support Worker, and a fairly steep learning curve (part 3)
White pill- you are my compromise. Not accepting you means delusion realised. You are my answer to the aches and screams, my solution to the ill at ease, I swallow you whole, yet you consume me, your chemical daze inebriates me, dull daze, dull gaze. While I am with you I can’t claim to be…… Continue reading White pill
Thirteen years ago I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia and hospitalised. I was assigned a social worker and a community psychiatric nurse, who then worked with me for about five years. They were part of the Early Intervention in Psychosis unit, and shouldn’t have worked with me for longer than about a year, but because…… Continue reading Nine months as a Support Worker, and a fairly steep learning curve
Am I in you, like you’re in me? Could that ever be? Beyond the pure physicality of love, the mechanics which make it all possible; can you feel me in you, like I feel you; coursing through my veins with the speed and weight of a giant wave, a tsunami raging towards the coast of…… Continue reading Love; like the sun and the moon
The thing about Love is- (for is there not always a thing?); be it hard and hot or flimsy and immaterial; when you try and pin it down, when you listen to the words which are whispered in the quiet places, or shiver as the echoes reach from outer space, you know that the ether…… Continue reading The “thing” about Love is..