I had to leave a job I felt proud of in 2019 after suffering a severe mental health relapse. Prior to that it had taken years of volunteering, part time work and work to reach the point at which I could say I took pride in and enjoyed my work. It was highly stressful but…… Continue reading Reconnecting with my positive self: silencing the inner saboteur
This article is something of a continuation of the last piece I published. In that one I was writing about how a perceived loss of agency affected my ability to deal with the symptoms of my schizophrenia. However as I was writing it occurred to me that this is an extremely commonplace problem- everyone needs…… Continue reading Why my mental health condition may no longer be a “mental health” condition.
I spent time deliberating over the title of this post. This may not sound particularly note-worthy but as it neatly sums up the main vein running through this article I thought I’d make reference to it. I’ve just moved into a new flat. It’s absolutely beautiful and I have found myself tonight slightly mesmorised by…… Continue reading New beginning
About this time of year I always experience a deep sense of optimism and positivity about myself and my own potential. My awareness of the looming date – 1st January – always works to reassure me that all the things I want to achieve are, once again, achievable. This sensation and self belief always begins…… Continue reading New Years Resolutions
In the last two weeks I have cut down my e-cigarette usage by 75%. GO me. I’ve been wanting to do this for years, but haven’t been able to because my e-cigarette is a trusted and highly effective emotional crutch for me. I have been leaning on it for about five years now, and although…… Continue reading Acknowledging a reduction in nicotine..
It is the 30th of December and a new year looms. I am still sat, writing crappy poetry and vacillating between numerous unfinished projects. I have the main project, the one I have been working on for three years and have recently sent to my mum for beta reading and comment, as a kind of…… Continue reading Writing, thinking about writing, and de-cluttering my flat.
I hold a needle between thumb and forefinger, stare through the tiny eye and find infinity. A multi-verse of vast improbability- a soap bubble attached to a second soap bubble floating upwards into a clear blue sky- the light illuminate- electro-magnetic eye enabler hiding trillions of glittering stars, countless, fathomless balls of burning fusion power,…… Continue reading Minds eye (poem)
Sometimes when I look into the mirror I think I see something behind me, something trailing me and mimicking my movements, like a billowing shadow. There are times when my reflection seems to stare back at me- searching for answers in the lines of my face, meeting my eye semi-defiantly, and always waiting for the…… Continue reading The problems inherent in “leaving schizophrenia behind.” (Part 1)
So I am writing this post directly after publishing the last one. It Sunday, Ru and I are having a day in and I wanted to get some writing done today as I’m working Mon-Friday next week, and won’t be around on Saturday at all. I am just getting back into the WordPress mindset, and…… Continue reading Daring to dream; a confession.
I have been absent from word-press for some time now, and I wish I could say it’s because I’ve simply been too busy. That’s the generally acceptable excuse, isn’t it? To say things along the lines of ‘real life has been too fast paced,’ or ‘my real life has become too busy to allow me…… Continue reading Another return to WordPress- and a vow to finally finish my book.