I had to leave a job I felt proud of in 2019 after suffering a severe mental health relapse. Prior to that it had taken years of volunteering, part time work and work to reach the point at which I could say I took pride in and enjoyed my work. It was highly stressful but…… Continue reading Reconnecting with my positive self: silencing the inner saboteur
I spent time deliberating over the title of this post. This may not sound particularly note-worthy but as it neatly sums up the main vein running through this article I thought I’d make reference to it. I’ve just moved into a new flat. It’s absolutely beautiful and I have found myself tonight slightly mesmorised by…… Continue reading New beginning
I ate an apple once- he said you should be choking, it was already old. You should be ill, it was full up with rot, maggots crawling from it’s ruined flesh. You should be tired and yet you walk beside me head held high how is this possible? He said until he realised he was…… Continue reading Religion
The present moment, a mess of interpretation a puzzle strewn across my minds eye. Leaves scattered across an old picnic blanket left behind after the long summer day. The night winds blow cold now through the eaves and echoes of laughter and screams of delight idle away like wet foot prints across a…… Continue reading Movement (poem)
I’m looking after a cat for the week. It’s the cutest pet and sometimes my mind falls away with it. Are metaphors successful if nobody else understands them? In the past my mind employed harmless ideas to cover up ghosts. The groping fingers of my grey matter would drape its ghouls in silks and baubles…… Continue reading Catharsis (2)
I started to write. The air around me was still and the past progressed from my finger-tips like taffy. Outside the sky was glaring blue. I watched high up as the clouds scudded past like stupid children, bumbling along on an unknown current oblivious to the implications of their movement and participation. Their cow-white presence…… Continue reading Catharsis (1)
I re-wrote chapter 5 of my self-help book on Wednesday night. Its subject is the idea of viewing yourself as the hero or heroine of your own epic life story, as a means of empowering yourself to over come severe mental illness. I make the comment that every person should view themselves in this way…… Continue reading Why schizophrenia may have saved my life.
So I’m listening to a playlist on Spotify- and I notice something interesting. I notice that I am absent-mindedly searching for something in the music- and when I look at this further I realise I am persistently trying to find myself (if you will) within the music, and the simultaneously melodic and discordant sounds which break…… Continue reading Reconnecting with a sense of Identity (Part 1)
I am the moon lady, pale and ghostly. But I have the jutting fork of the tree branch Within me. Deep trunk of gnarled wood which pulls as urgently as the eagles cry pierces the high air- The watchful bird of prey which circles endlessly Above me. The elements can be merciless; this I know.…… Continue reading Moon Lady rises
When I was young they told me and the others not to fall in with the “bad crowd.” The “bad crowd” were the ones who did drugs and made up stories on street corners at night. The ones who did not finish their homework, and then challenged the teachers who punished them. The ones who…… Continue reading The “bad crowd”
Mad new world 