The focus of this article is an issue I’ve been struggling with for some time, which just resurfaced in my thinking in the form of symptoms. The subject and problem just sort of fell into my mind, piggy-backing on the “voices” which, as is often the case, felt half profound and half completely random. I’ve…… Continue reading Personal faith, and how to reconcile it with a mental health diagnosis
I ate an apple once- he said you should be choking, it was already old. You should be ill, it was full up with rot, maggots crawling from it’s ruined flesh. You should be tired and yet you walk beside me head held high how is this possible? He said until he realised he was…… Continue reading Religion
My brain in alive. It ticks and clicks clamours and shifts- trillions of patterns, pathways, responses, counter responses, analysis, dismissal, assimilation- I stare at a wall, and feel the hard weight of infinity looming. Where am I? Is my brain me? Me often feels secondary, Me seems like a construct, a dream, a chased reality.…… Continue reading My brain is alive (poem)
If your fantasies could become realised- if all you had to do was crawl back inside your minds eye, (why decide) Would you follow desire, would you let go of the status quo; would you follow a thought pattern far below and dare to remain there, dare to wait, dare to stare back straight into the…… Continue reading Why decide
It’s something of a contradiction, I feel, to state that writing be just a self indulgence. A friend of mine, and a friend whose opinion means a lot to me because she has a quite brilliant mind, suggested this; she stated that writing is a self-indulgence which allows the writer to spend inordinate amounts of…… Continue reading How much is writing a self indulgence?
I have been furiously active on twitter, over the course of the last month. After the 800 word guideline which I try to follow on WordPress, the 280 character limit is refreshingly sparse and easy to tap out in 30 seconds. On average, it takes me about two hour’s to write out a blog post…… Continue reading When is writing cathartic and when is it self indulgent?
I am fascinated by the idea of ‘different worlds;’ the different environments which people live in, but also the different ways in which people view the world. I suppose the easiest way to think about this is to put an optimist next to a pessimist, and ask each of them to describe the scene in…… Continue reading WordPress and the world (2)
(Continued from part 1..) What I am wondering now though, is whether or not I have simply tied up too many knots inside of me. Whether that by trying to understand the tall tree of my madness, rather than simply cleaving it down the moment I became aware of it, I have allowed those roots…… Continue reading Learning to let go- the parting blow of psychosis? (part 2)
When my mind smiles it wafts like a cloudy day- scudding charcoal and light puffing grey splotches across a brilliant blue sky. Endless light and clarity, tempered by such soft patches of gentle in-distinction. On darker days the pressure builds and storm clouds loom, ominous and foreboding of what is to come- first rumblings of deepest…… Continue reading My mind like a weather system
So I’m listening to a playlist on Spotify- and I notice something interesting. I notice that I am absent-mindedly searching for something in the music- and when I look at this further I realise I am persistently trying to find myself (if you will) within the music, and the simultaneously melodic and discordant sounds which break…… Continue reading Reconnecting with a sense of Identity (Part 1)