JUST – DOOOOOOO – IT …
Has anybody else watched Shia Lebeouf’s infamous youtube rant? The one in which he bellows, grunts and roars like a grizzly bear for five minutes in an attempt to motivate and inspire his audience?
I’m not sure if it’s actually motivational in itself, or whether it’s just goddamn flipping hilarious, and sticks in the mind because of that.
I’m not sure that watching it actually inspired me to get up off the sofa and go for a run, or do anything which required a little bit of oomph, or discipline and determination to complete. It just made me giggle for five minutes, and wonder about what meds he might be taking.
However.. after saying all that; I do now find that when I am in a certain mood, and a certain state of lazy and mindless apathetic funk, roaring the phrase “just DOOO it” at myself internally does provoke a suitable reaction of acknowledgement. Like a part of me goes “ok.. yep- I know, I know…”
Right now I am at Ru’s, sitting on his bed and surrounded by books and magazines. He is flitting about, and my phone is lying innocuously next to me.. the pc is to my left, and I know that there’s a sketch pad and a set of pencils lying around somewhere. I guess what I am trying to stress is that there are so many distractions for me right now!
This is not necessarily a bad thing, but there are literally a million and one different thing which I want to do right now, and a million and one different potential ways to fill my time.
I want to carry on with my self help book, I want to publish some poetry on the poetry forum, I want to check out AbsoluteWriters Forum, I want to start some illustrations for my book, I want to read Writers Monthly, I want to start a journal, I want to read some Sylvia Plath, I want to play skyrim.. and I will leave it at there before I start onto the things which cannot be said to be productive on any level or are, by any stretch of the imagination, a pointful usage of my time.
It isn’t bad, really, that I have so many things which I want to be doing.. I think it’s just frustrating my slightly because it’s dividing my focus and dividing my attention. I feel like my mind is in about ten different places at once, and I’m not channelling all of my energy into my present work.
Whilst I am writing- I am wondering about the Poetry forum (which I just signed up to). Then I start thinking about how I could put together a composition which could effectively illustrate mental illness as a concept, and then I start thinking about chocolate and praline chocolate fingers.
I’m having a distracted day, or a distracted afternoon- is, I guess, the easiest way to sum this funk up. But, even as I acknowledge that fact, I hear strains and echos of Shia Lebeouf ring through my mind.. Just DOOO it… and I realise that acknowledgement isn’t enough, I want to overcome this lack of focus.
I guess I’m already doing something positive, and something which contributes to this, in that I am writing a blog post about it, rather than sitting on Instagram or Facebook and mindlessly scrolling through updates whilst biting my fingernails and mentally reviewing the last netflix series I watched.
At least I am producing something worthwhile right now, at least I am channelling my frustration and my distraction into something which is useful and tangible.
I think the key thing is, when I am feeling like this, is to step away from the laptop for five minutes. Move away, go downstairs, chat to Ru or his mum, make a cup of tea; take five or ten minutes and do something which is careless and distracted. I am feeling this way, so I should allow those feelings to guide me for a short time in order to exercise them and decrease their potency a little bit.
In that time I am also working out what to focus upon- because that is really the main thing that is happening here- I can’t decide what to focus my attention and my energies upon, and that indecision and uncertainty is making me feel grumpy. It’s making me want to curl up and take a nap, or smoke, or eat twenty chocolate biscuits.
Once this mood has set in it’s hard to kick, I think, and so nipping it in the bud before it morphs into full blown time wastage is important if you actually want to do something productive with your time.
But- I have now written an 800 word post- which is good because half an hour ago I was considering chocolate digestives and day time television as a distraction from actually figuring out which useful past-time I could pursue for the remainder of the afternoon.
I’m still distracted, and Ru is now lying next to me so I’m not sure how much serious writing I’ll be getting done this afternoon; but at least I managed to write this post. That is something, at least.. Shia Lebeouf makes a good point, when he roars “just do it...” I guess my main problem right now is that I am petulantly wondering-
“…just do WHAT?!…”